How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

Eloping is a beautifully intimate way to celebrate your love, but announcing it to your friends and family… well, that is probably one of the most challenging aspects of the elopement process.

Most families already have expectations of what your wedding day would look like and how involved they would be. 

If you’re a people pleaser like me, you may be finding it difficult to find a way to tell your family you’re eloping. Just know that you’re allowed to have the wedding day you and your partner want. So if you’re looking for permission to have a wedding that best represents your relationship, here it is! I’m giving you full permission to design your day however you want to, even if that means celebrating the start of your marriage with just you and your fiancé!

Whether you’re picturing a serene lakeside ceremony with some of your closest loved ones or a breathtaking, intimate mountaintop vow exchange, your day gets to be what YOU want.

Without further ado, here are ways to tell your family you’re eloping!

bride and groom adventurous mountain elopement portrait during their Adirondack elopement

When to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

Should you tell your family you’re eloping before you do it, or wait until it’s already done? There are pros and cons to both!

If you choose to do it before, it can make your loved ones feel included in the process and offer advice and support. This also allows you to invite them to the ceremony or throw a post-elopement celebration! However, in some cases, you might face unsolicited advice or pressure to change your plans.

If you choose to make your announcement afterward, you have total freedom and privacy on your day with no expectations from others. It can also be a fun surprise when you finally share you’ve eloped! However, if you wait until after eloping to make your announcement, it may cause more drama than if you had told them before.

To make the announcement process easier, you could start hinting that you want  to elope even before you’re engaged. You could occasionally say that traditional weddings don’t feel like your cup of tea or that they don’t feel worth the expenses and stress. This way, when you finally announce you’re eloping, it won’t come as that big of a surprise!

I did this exact thing with my family and friends so when it came down to planning our wedding they already knew my fiancé and I were going for a more intimate celebration. No surprises here!

bride and groom emotional first look in a green, grassy field during their Adirondack elopement

How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

When you’re finally ready to share your news with your loved ones, here are some ideas for telling your family you’re eloping!

Tell Your Family in Person

For an intimate and personal touch, tell your closest friends and family in person or through a video call if they’re far away. This way, they will see your excitement about it! They can’t stay mad at you for long if they see you so happy, right? This also allows them to celebrate your big news with you in person and offer their love and support!

Send Letters

Send out beautiful, personalized announcements or cards after the fact, with a favorite photo from your special day and a heartfelt message sharing your joy. This is also a perfect excuse to book an adventure or engagement session. Pairing an elopement announcement with professional photos filled with joy of you and your fiancé is a recipe for a welcoming response from your loved ones. 

bride and groom adventurous mountain elopement portrait during their Adirondack elopement

Make a Photo Album

If you plan to tell your loved ones after you have already tied the knot, you can give them a personalized album of your elopement photos the next time you visit them.

Your photos will help your loved ones feel like they were right there with you and see the joy you experienced on the day! All of my elopement packages include an album credit so you can share your elopement day memories in person with your family and friends.

Invite Your Loved Ones to The Ceremony or Post-Elopement Celebration

Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you can’t include the people closest to you. You can announce you’re eloping and invite your loved ones to join you for the ceremony or celebrate with you later. This celebration could be later on during your elopement day or at a later date to extend the festivities!

If you’re looking for more guidance on including your family in your elopement, I’ve got just the guide for you here!

Ready to Plan Your Adirondack Elopement Day?

Whether you choose to share your plans before you say “I do” or surprise everyone with the happy news after, what matters most is that you’re celebrating your love in a way that’s true to you.

Prioritize your and your partner’s wishes above all else. It may take some time for certian people to accept and understand your decision to elope due to their traditional viewpoints or other reasons. But those who genuinely care for you will respect your decision,support you and will be just as excited as you are!

If you’re looking for an Adirondack elopement photographer to help you plan and capture your day from beginning to end – I’m just a message away! I can’t wait to hear from you! And if you’re looking for more elopement planning resources, check out the rest of my blog.

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